Sometimes it feels like a new year or a new president can help to bring the change we want to see in us and in the world. I know I have a part of me that can blame leadership or others for things that are in my control.
Now please know that I will not be preaching the “gaslighty” (yes I made up a word I do that from time to time) message that presidents don’t have an impact and we need to be the change that we need to see in the world. What I want to say and intend to say is that presidents and our choice of presidents reveal who we are. I feel in 2025 it is past time for us to look into the mirror.
The evidence is very clear. We are a violent country. We are numb to violence and injustice. If any significant time has past the pain and impact of the injustice and violence is dismissed, diminished, and devalued. We are so prone to forgetting and our dissociative nature of scrolling and viral sensations make sure that happens. If the United States was a family, there are members of the family that are painfully aware of truth about us and there are members of the family that actively deny and distance themselves from the truth about our country to protect them of the pain of it, to protect them for looking at themselves, or because they have the freedom of not being directly impacted by the injustice or violence. My life is good so what’s the big deal?
I remember this happened A LOT during the pandemic. There were people who lost multiple family members in a short period of time and there were people denying that COVID was real. Can you imagine?! Talk about violence. People were so removed from the impact of the disease that they were not attending to those who are still today trying to put their life back together years later.
There seems to be levels of what is real and what’s not real and when it is in our face and how we respond to it is VERY telling. Many people were unsettled by the response to the assassination of the CEO of UnitedHealthCare. A human died and people were laughing and some even rejoiced. The health care system in America is so violent and it is something that we have been very numb to the reality of how that impacts us everyday. When we have systems in our country that actively cause harm/violence and only function to benefit one group and harm others. It’s time to get curious about the systems and who it is showing us who we really are. The violence that is in us. It is in the language we speak to each other, in person, online, and in our actions.
Okay, let’s break it down because you may have parts of you saying Alicia I am not a murder and I am not violent. I don’t harm anyone. So let’s take a moment and think when someone comes to you and says that they are in pain or have even been harmed by something that you have done. How do you respond? Do you make space to hear them? Do you listen openly? Do you distance yourself? Do you defend yourself? Do you call it negative? Do you blame them? Do you dismiss them?
I want to see if you can as much as possible from a place of curiosity to learn how you respond to other’s pain because it is most likely the way you respond to your own. Our instinctive responses are ways we also have picked up and learned from others. This is usually to protect us from a world where we HAVE TO prepare ourselves from our pain and humanity being ignored and not acknowledged.
Harm that is not addressed is violence. Violence is defined as behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something. We know that emotional harm has the same impact on our brain as physical harm and sometimes even more. Has someone ever killed your dreams, invalidated your feelings, denied your humanity? Have you done any of the above to others? I want you to know that there’s no way that yes isn’t the answer to these questions because this is who we are. It’s up to us to take a look at the violence that lives inside of us and the systems that impact us to learn from it and decide what we want to do differently.
Reclaiming Clarity is looking at the world around us and assessing it, listening to our bodies and hearing what it has to say about the world around us. There is so much wisdom there. I remember seeing how people were responding to those angry and afraid about the re-election of Donald Trump. I wonder what wisdom was in the anger and fear that many didn’t listen to or felt was warranted.
We are gearing up for a new president and a new year. It is upon us and no matter how you feel towards the new year or choice of president what I want to invite you to do is examine how the systems of our world have impacted you and how you relate to yourself and others. I know a big assignment and I feel it is important for us to look at who we really are as a people to understand how we got here.
This violence does NOT define us and it IS a part of us. We are more than this violence and still it is a part of us.
Please know that any offer or invitation is just that and I honor your choice to do what feels right for you.
Until next time.
Alicia Jackson’s Substack
Alicia Jackson has been in the Mental Health field for 16 years. She’s a proud graduate of Wayne State University, with a Master’s in Counselor Education concentrating in School and Community Counseling. She has experience working with children, adults, and families through grief, trauma, adoption, blending families, divorce, depression, anxiety, ADHD, and other disorders. Her strong desire and passion are to provide support and tools for her clients and families in a safe space.
She is an IFS (Internal Family Systems) Therapist and has received training in Motivational Interviewing, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Trauma Focused-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Internal Family Systems Therapy, and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy informed treatment. Alicia has supervised Home-Based Services, which is the highest level of care outside of hospitalization. She also provides Clinical Supervision for other clinicians currently. During COVID-19, she held a virtual Quarantine Support Group to provide support for those struggling through these troubling times and she continues to find ways to connect her community to resources and mental health services.
